Follow-up post to this whole blogosphere hullabaloo. And the follow-up to the follow-up.
[update] Commenter Jessica writes below that
As a female employee at Citi, I have one of these on my desk. They were NOT handed out by the HR department, but rather by the Head of Diversity, Patricia David, who is no longer with the firm. (Currently at JP Morgan I believe.) They are handed out at workshops geared towards women, often hosted by “Women’s Councils” that exist in various Citi locations.
While interviewing at Citibank, my friend stole something from their office. He doesn’t know why he did it. He just did. When he showed what he filched to friends, some were outraged at Citi, others just found it strange and funny. Post your reactions below.
[update] My rationale and defense for posting the photo rests on the fact that this card is not confidential information and it’s…thought-provoking. Releasing something like this on the web, the wild, wild west of all mediums, however, has the danger of distortion and exaggeration. Just imagine a game of telephone with thousands of people, some don’t listen carefully while others are just mildly retarded. So I clarified some things with my source who passed me the photo.
Citi had these cards lying on every desk in the HR department, a department dominated by women in many firms. According to my friend, this card was on some of the desks on a floor he suspects was the human resources department. It is unclear how these cards fit in with official company training material, how widely and to which employees Citibank distributed them, or the financial institution’s broader policy towards women in the workplace. I personally don’t doubt that Citibank takes its treatment of female employees very seriously and that this card was handed out with the best of intentions.
11. Grow Testicles
The ten points are taken from an actual book titled Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office: 101 Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers by a woman who earned a Ph.D. in psychology. At first, I thought the book was written in 1960. It was published in 2004. Amazon tells me customers who bought this book also bought
- Play Like a Man, Win Like a Woman
- Nice Girls Don’t Get Rich
- See Jane Lead
- The Girl’s Guide to Being a Boss (Without Being a Bitch)
- Girl On Top: Your Guide to Turning Dating Rules into Career Success
- Seducing the Boys Club: Uncensored Advice from a Woman at the Top
- How to Say it for Women: Communicating with Confidence and Power
- Professional Issues in Midwifery
24 Comments
this is the voice of dominating (not necessarily male) culture. It assumes that those who are powerful have the right values. but where have these values of compeditiveness, ego and pushiness gotten us? Yes women could stand to speak louder and assert themselves, but why not support women for their ability to listen, egalitarianism, friendliness and willingness to consider the opinions of others? These qualities are desperately needed by the world. Women and people in general should not make the same mistakes men have in the past!!
THIS BOOK ROCKS: Women Lead the Way by Linda Tarr-Whelan. Rather than change who they are, women need to take leadership roles and support other women. Women make smart, compassionate, hardworking and selfless leaders: exactly what the world needs!
I don’t understand why people have problems with a weak handshake why is it so creepy. I find it odd people judge people on their handshake. I have a soft voice, I will not apologize for that. in fact I think most people talk to damn loud.
Message: to be successful act like a man.
Sure not all women have these qualities, but some things are almost universal , like having a softer voice, potentially softer handshake, and we are socialized to sit differently. To say that this will hurt our careers is an admission that the workplace is sexist, and that we have to choose between femininity and success. If women to follow this advice they are watching out for their own interest but simultaneously perpetuating the institutional sexism by conforming to the male standard rather. Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.
Contrary to most of the commenters, I actually read the book and found it unsettling in its honesty but very, very useful.
It’s a book I tell colleagues to read because many of us women do actually make those unconscious mistakes. I was one of them.
I have worked in corporate for the last 17 years and like it or not, most companies (this is my 4th) are actually set up for men.
She is not saying you have to change who you are but you do have to be realistic.
Yes, in an ideal world, everything would be equal, blah blah blah, but it’s not an ideal world. This is reality.
This is the most absurd advice i have ever seen in my life. This is completely insulting to men and women. While I was reading this I immediately thought that it must have been written by some PhD academic with no real work experience or common sense – and my suspicions were confirmed at the bottom of the list. I love the way she refers to men as “competitors” in the statement about being invisible. She also implies that men tend to never follow rules or play fair. What scares me is that people like this are teaching this rubbish to young and impressionable workers. I believe much more can be accomplished in a sensitivity course where both men and women are invited to attend. Men, women, black, white, Muslim, Buddhist – give me a break What people need to learn at the beginning of their career is to value everyone’s unique qualities and contributions. By the way, there are some women and some men at my company who speak softly and there are some who do not – it is definitely not gender specific and has no bearing on what they can accomplish. In fact, people who think they should talk loud and talk all the time eventually become known for the people who have the least to offer. They tend to also be over-educated and insecure.
She did NOT refer to men as “competitors”. Women are in negotiations all the time with competitors of both genders. I think Dr. Frankel was correct in stating that women TEND to give their power away to competitors (whether the competitors is a man or a stronger, more confident woman who is a better negotiator). Of course, that is a generalization. There are many women out there who are exceptional negotiators and don’t give their power away to ANYONE. You leapt to a conclusion that just isn’t supported in any respect.
Rubbish and to think a large corporation is backing this type of c***. I have more Balls than my other half and when it comes to getting things done it is up to me to sort the problem out. Who ever wrote this obviously does not know women. It is hard enough for a women to make it in the work place with out this type of thing going around. About time the men of the office grew up and started acting their age and not their shoe size.
The only thing sexist here was that they applied it to women only. I have seen men make these very same mistakes, and often. The exact same advice applies to men.
Also, I would add that not every workplace has an environment where such advice will work well.
I’d add one more:
11. Ask for what you’re worth. Don’t just accept the first offer with regards to raises, transfers, bonuses and extra benefits. Ask for what you are truly worth, and be willing to leave if you don’t get it. Especially true when applying for new work: never take their first offer unless it is clear NObody in the company is paid more for this job title. Always ask for more.
I think Evan makes a good point. The listed advice is not bad advice – be assertive, be professional. The spirit of the message, however may be construed as – stop being a woman. Not all women behave in such a manner as the list suggests. Many men are less assertive than women.
Is it likely to help the corporation to suggest there is something wrong with being a woman? Won’t our people be more empowered and effective if they are encouraged to be themselves and to celebrate their qualities? There are so many positive qualities that women bring to the workplace table. In my professional opinion, as CEO of ten years – the more diverse my team the better. It does, however, take strength and courage to have such confidence.
Sorry, everyone, but unlike the majority of you who have posted, I agree, in general, with the advice on this sign (with the typo fixed, of course). I don’t think I would have it posted on my desk, but rather have it in my drawer to pull out as a reference.
The advice on this placard is based on Frankel’s observations of how women (in GENERAL) are failing to be taken seriously in the workplace. If your workplace is different, that’s great. But many workplaces are still dominated by male values and behavior and women DO need to learn to find their voices within that power system. I teach women at an Ivy League institution and I find, on the whole, that they do not speak up as often in class, talk very softly, are not able to narrate their accomplishments with confidence, and too often handle their hair inappropriately in presentations settings (not to mention what some of them wear). This is not ALL women at our university, but a disturbingly large number of them.
As a feminist (wasn’t a dirty word when I was in college!), I want to prepare my students in a realistic way for the workplace, helping them to find their voices and use them effectively.
As a female employee at Citi, I have one of these on my desk. They were NOT handed out by the HR department, but rather by the Head of Diversity, Patricia David, who is no longer with the firm. (Currently at JP Morgan I believe.) They are handed out at workshops geared towards women, often hosted by “Women’s Councils” that exist in various Citi locations.
Assuming this is legit and Citi actually posted this (elevator placard? employee handout?), and assuming Citi didn’t get sued over it, it’s still seems problematic to me. “Women aren’t as aggressive as men. Therefore something is wrong with women.” I understand where the good doctor is coming from with her book, but the subtitle “Unconscious Mistakes Women Make That Sabotage Their Careers” betrays the fundamental problem with pervasive, institutionalized sexism.
{sigh} I suppose the subtitle “How to Out-Male Your Male Counterparts and Beat Them at their Own Game” was taken?
Wow. It’s from a book but if Citi apparently has bought in to it. I wish the focus would be on valuing what everyone brings to the table as they are, not how they sit at it.
It is not incumbent upon women (or any marginalized group) to modify their behavior to be effective at the jobs they were hired to do, it is the responsibility of the institution to change its culture in order to accommodate and foster equality amongst all its employees.
“You are not get taken seriously”??? Where was this written? In Nigeria?
FAAAAAAAAAAAKEFAKEFAEFAKEFAKE!!!
McCoy, by saying that you are saying the whole of Nigerian population is fake — now that I think about you are fully qualified to write that cheat sheet.
Prince g. bush
I don’t know why not proofreading isn’t on this list. #7 made me cringe because of it. I think it’s interesting that this pamphlet was derived from a book written by a woman. Was it re-interpreted by a man? I might fiddle with my hair in public, but I sit forward at a table when people are speaking, I try to speak before everyone else (because I’m scared and I want to get it over with), a limp handshake (plenty of which I’ve received from men) makes me shudder, and asking permission is never better than apologizing after the fact. If this list was just simply “The 10 things NOT to do: What people do to sabotage their career” , it would make more sense and seem less ridiculous and sexist.
#7 “therefore you are not get taken seriously?” You’d think they would have proofed these before having them copied with their logo and laminated.
I can see where people would be upset over this, but I believe it has more to do with the way it’s worded than with the message the author intended to deliver.
“10 things TO do” would be a lot more positive and would be easier to read/apply than “10 things NOT TO do”.
“…one good pump and a concise greeting combined with solid eye contact will do the trick.”
Someone needs to tell men that that technique isn’t effective in the bedroom.
Thanks for making me laugh!
This is just silly… I work in a male dominated environment (engineering) and this list is just silly.
On top of being female, and the youngest in the office I am still respected and taken seriously.
This list should be things PEOPLE shouldn’t do… and many of them should be removed.
I’m not about to shout to compete in some testosterone fuelled “who’s the loudest” and if I speak last in will be because I have LISTENED to what was said and have something to contribute. I also believe in smiling and being friendly and see this positive not negative attribute, in fact I don’t doubt I wouldn’t have been hired if I wasn’t, who wants to work with a grouch?
One thing is spot on though… wet fish hand shakes just creep me out…
And if women speak loudly, aren’t demure and don’t act feminine we are aggressive bitches. I have never spoke softly but in an appropriate tone, and never have been accused of speaking last in a meeting. I do sit like a lady because to do otherwise is to invite – you can only imagine. I have a firm handshake. I make eye contact. This just goes to show you that sexism is far from dead.
These suggestions/observations are actually from a book entitled “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office 101″, by Lois P. Frankel, PhD (http://www.drloisfrankel.com/books_office.html), as you can see by looking at the bottom of the card. Citibank is merely passing them along.
I think this “cheat sheet” is really about affirming a hierarchy between masculinity and femininity that devalues the presence of women in the workplace. Saying “be more assertive” is not the same as “be more assertive because women are unassertive and get nothing done.”
Good point. There is only a hierarchy between two things if they are not equal. If A is not equal to B then you can impose standards and assign different values to each. I.e. A>B. This inequality exists because of the outdated yet ingrained gender dichotomy. Instead, we should think: men and women are (more or less) the same. Everything else is socially conditioned.
So instead of “be more assertive because women are unassertive and get nothing done” it should be “be more assertive because society has told you for so long to be meek and docile, rise up and take your rightful place as equals.” The fault here lies on obsolete ways of thinking and behaving instead of Citi.
19 Trackbacks
Büro-Geschlechterkriege – die Neuauflage…
Sicher ist eigentlich nur dies: Es gibt Frauen, die Karriere machen wollen, und weil das nicht immer so klappt, gibt es auch Institute, die Frauen darauf vorbereiten. So, und nun kommt es, wie es kommen muss: Was diese Institute sagen, könnte politisch…
[...] So, things are looking bleak. Current David Xia #1 has already registered Davidxia.com, as well as broke some sort of scandalous story on it. That’s a win for him. I’m relegated to hoping Facebook takes over everything so [...]
[...] interviewing at Citibank, blogger David Xia’s (Via Dealbreaker) friend stole a laminated list that was apparently laid out on every desk in the [...]
[...] be suceessful in her career. The note, which was spread throughout the Internet via blog posts like this warns women of certain behavior in the office which would put them in a disadvantage and apparently, [...]
[...] Street. Over at the WSJ career siteFINS, there was an interesting piece about some advice that Citigroup provided to women who wanted to succeed in their careers. The laminated cards, distributed to some [...]
[...] CitiGroup has gotten some bad press because of cards which were being distributed to female employees, which contained a list of “What women do to sabotage their careers – TOP 10 things to [...]
[...] this list is being treated largely as a joke indicates, thankfully, that it is recognizably ridiculous. But it can’t be funny when it’s [...]
[...] book by Lois P. Frankel, titled Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office. It can be found on Xia’s site and includes such don’t [...]
[...] book by Lois P. Frankel, titled Nice Girls Don’t Get The Corner Office. It can be found on Xia’s site and includes such don’t [...]
[...] is an ongoing story. For part 1, go here. For part 2, [...]
[...] colleague forwarded to me a post by David Xia: Citibanks’ Advice to Women: Grow a Pair. The basis of the post suggests that Citibank, using Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office [...]
[...] Advice To Women On How Not To Sabotage Career Click here. Explore posts in the same categories: [...]
[...] tips out at Citibank’s workshop geared towards to women, according to a commenter on David Xia’s blog. The official title reads: What Women Do to Sabotage Their [...]
[...] This post was Twitted by diarmuidh [...]
[...] list of “helpful” “tips” for female employees was reportedly distributed to the [...]
[...] the above from what he suspects was the HR department floor and passed it on to his mate at EasilyAmused, thus sparking a blog post with viral potency to rival videos of silly old bags plopping kitties in [...]
[...] Easily Amused The world is a comedy to those that think… Skip to content AboutContact « Citibank’s Advice to Women: Grow a Pair [...]
[...] This post was Twitted by karine_frigon [...]
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Lien Hoang, David Xia. David Xia said: Citibank’s Advice to Women: Grow a Pair http://htxt.it/Wtqn [...]