- you suffer from withdrawal when you don’t have access to a pool
- at restaurants that display calories on their menu, you divide each dish’s calories by respective price and order the one with the highest quotient
- you are physically capable of drinking three beers, eating an entire quart of Ben and Jerry’s Cherry Garcia ice cream, and watching an entire season of 24 in 17.6 hours
- your idea of fun is -22°F, five meters of snow, > 14,000ft altitude, and avalanche risks
- you’ve been asked if you’ve been “raised communist”
- you’ve mixed two packs of instant ramen with hot tap water in a plastic ice bucket while staying at a $50/night motel and ate it with your bare hands