I Am Internet’s Number One “David Xia”


seconds since I’ve been #1

That’s right. I’ve known (and relished) for a long time the fact that I dominate Google’s top search results for “David Xia.” But being a winner always feels better when the losers concede defeat. Here’s a blog post by another David Xia who laments, “I’m no longer number one.”

It has recently come to my attention that I am no longer the world’s leading David Xia anymore. This is greatly distressing, seeing as only 4 years ago the 30 or so hits for that name all belonged to me. Another David Xia is out there. By my spotty research, he’s both a better writer AND better at math than me. He went to Columbia, got a degree in theoretical math (only a BA though,) and wrote for the Columbia student newspaper. My foundation has been rocked to its core.

To make matters worse, I’m not the world’s 2nd David Xia either. That honor goes to some guy currently at IU-Bloomington (ha). Too bad that he has a high GPA and volunteers 25 hours of his time every week at the Boys and Girls club. So even though I do a fair amount of volunteer work with JA, I don’t even begin to match up to that. Double downer.

I at least have the small solace of being (probably) the best David Xia of the greater Minneapolis-St. Paul area. After all, some of my friends have much more well known name doppelgangers, and they seem to be mainly ok.

So, things are looking bleak. Current David Xia #1 has already registered Davidxia.com, as well as broke some sort of scandalous story on it. That’s a win for him. I’m relegated to hoping Facebook takes over everything so that my facebook.com/davidxia registration will triumph.

However, I refuse to settle for mediocrity within the world of David Xias. Therefore I have come up with the following steps for corrective action:

  • Write more blog posts (ha) that contain my name
  • Somehow obtain a Guinness World Record. Possibly something like meeting the biggest percentage of people who also share your name.
  • Become an athletic or academic superstar
  • Start my own foundation
  • Become a social media guru (ick)
  • Turn to a legendary life of crime.

Also, with my given chinese name, there are numerous interpretations. Maybe I’ll cover it in my next post in the David Xia series

Here’s a page about the David Xia #2 referred to above. A Google image search brings him up as

1. Must destroy…