Dear Perverted Reader…


Google Analytics is tool that allows me to track statistics about this blog. I just stick a tracking code into my webpages and wait for hits. I can see how many people visit my site within a certain time, how they get there, how long they stay, what browser they use, etc. Crazy, I know. I can spend hours looking at the data.

The most amusing information is the search engine keywords that lead people to my blog. These aren’t my friends or family members to whom I shamelessly promote my blog. These are random individuals who are mistakenly led to believe my posts have any value for them. For example, they might search “easily amused” on Google, see my site, and click it. Google Analytics records this visit and the keywords “easily amused” that got them here. I have a long list of all these keywords. My conclusions below.

To put it lightly: some of these web surfers have way too much time on their hands. Some of the most frequent keywords in descending order are:

  • cantonese pick up lines
  • worlds biggest dildo
  • ivy ball hong kong
  • hsbc sucks
  • worlds largest dildo
  • cantonese pickup lines
  • pick up lines in cantonese
  • college student bottles of piss
  • howard hughes urine

To put it frankly: some of this shit is seriously fucked up. I’d never want to meet some of the people who are reading my posts. Why? Because these some of them searched:

  • biggest dildo death
  • i saw mommy naked
  • worlds biggest dildo factory
  • anime big breasts
  • can mexicans intern in ny?
  • college swimming in their own urine
  • day when all mexicans stop working
  • how to buy a thong without your mammy knowing
  • shitting in a bowl then eating it
  • topless mormon girls

There are, however, smarter/more reasonable/saner people out there:

  • can cia be reformed
  • columbia sipa worth it?
  • did howard hughes really store pee
  • theories why filipino choose to work abroad
  • ways to be amused during college