Let’s say your parents own and rent out a couple of condominium units in the greater Boston area. The lease is about to expire for one of the units that’s rented out to a young Polish woman who is a student.
Your mother Nancy emails the tenant, who we’ll call Ashley to protect her real identity and also because we all know a crazy girl who happens to have that name, several months ahead of time to ask if she’d like to renew for another year given a monthly rent increase of $50. According to your mom, Ashley implied she would sign the new lease, but it’s been a couple of months and she hasn’t sent a signed copy back yet.
A few days ago, Ashley wrote an email complaining of multiple problems with the apartment that she’s never mentioned before. So what should your parents do?
Luckily, this is a guide on exactly how they should handle the situation. Tell their unhinged broker Joe to deal with the crazy tenant and watch the situation spiral out of control. All emails below are copy-pasted verbatim.
My parents have learned from this experience and no longer work with either tenant or broker.
From: Ashley
Date: Monday, June 22, 2015
To: Nancy
Subject: signiture
Hi nancy,
can we fax it next week? We are on a family trip in Niagara falls until Saturday. Have a good
weekend!
ashley
From: Nancy
Date: Monday, June 22, 2015 10:14PM
To: Ashley
Subject: Re: signiture
Hi Ashley ,
When you will be back? I don’t have the fax. But you can scan it and send it by email on next
week or mail to us.
Thanks!
Nancy
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 1, 2015 11:17AM
To: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: signiture
Oh I’m sorry i d
meant we will mail it to your home!
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015
To: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: signiture
Nancy please help
The mice have taken over my house. I don’t know how this happened. There are Many holes. I mean I painted the whole house.i cleaned it for over 60 hours when I moved in . I tried to over up with tape. I’m sorry to be this way but most apartment don’t have these issues. I googled the apartment and they are all new so for 1400 in my building clean and nice but this is my home. I don’t want to move..just ask for help and help
- so much mildew I cough daily all over walls
- I haven’t been at peace with mice living with me. I clean daily.
- bug problems I find at least 4 centipedes in my shower when window are closed.
- the pipes of the shower are collapsing and the 1920 bathtub is gathering chemicals
- I had the bathtub inspected and it has to be replaced due to cancer components such as iron and magnesium
Ash
Ashley’s father calls your parents and leaves a voicemail with the same list of complaints and adds that they had inspections done in the apartment. So your mom calls his bluff. She says she’d like to see the inspection reports, and if they’re true, can’t let any tenants live there until the problems resolved.
From: Nancy
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 8:??PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Joe
Subject: Voice Mail
Hi Ashley,
I am going to call the condo association about your report issuers.
Sorry we have to make the decision: we can not renew the new lease for next year. You lease will
be end by Augst 31, 2015.
We need to vacant the unit to do some works.
Joe’s email is attached. You father can email to him if he want to talk to Joe.
Have a nice day!
Nancy
From: Nancy
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 8:04PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Joe
Subject: Re: Voice Mail
Hi Ashley,
Would you please send me the Inspection report we will report it to the building manger.
Thanks!
Nancy
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 8:11PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Voice Mail
Hi Ashley,
Please send any communications regarding your rental via email to me. Please advise your dad of
the same. These are sensitive issues so I want to make sure we are all on the same page and that
none of my communications to you are misconstrued. Not trying to be standoffish.
I do not have access to my voicemail right now, I see that you had left me one. Can you please
send me an email with the content of that voicemail? Much appreciated, have a great rest of the
night.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 8:35PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
I’m sorry for any miss communication. I left you guys voicemails but I don’t want to be evicted. I love my house and treat it like my own. Don’t kick me out Nancy. There was NO inspection simply I have a pest issue meaning mice are living in my sofa, bedroom, etc. I’m a good tenant please don’t make me leave. Sorry I said there was mice I’ll handle it on my own.
Ashley
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 8:36PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
Also disregard my father he isn’t paying my rent so he has no part of this.
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:12PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
I thought he was cosigning for you. Hypothetically speaking if you want to renew your lease we would need to run your financials.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:12PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
My father is craZy man. I’m sorry Nancy I called your origin communist mine is as well. My father barely speaks English and hasn’t given me a dollar since I graduated college. I got a job down the street so I am very hurt.
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:12PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voicemail
It is not an eviction if Nancy is simply not renewing your lease.
Ashley starts a new email thread, but your mom is delegating everything to Joe at this point.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015
To: Nancy
Subject: (no subject)
Nancy,
Please don’t kick me out because of my father. I have the money and means. Please. One more year Nancy. Please I beg you and I respect my home. I won’t complain. I’m sorry this is my home.
Ashley
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:18PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: (no subject)
Ashley, correction: it is Nancy’s home. Don’t blame this on your father, your email was inflammatory and reflected everything he left in the voicemail to Nancy.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:24PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: (no subject)
Okay I’ll leave it in the Same condition when I moved in :)
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:27PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)
That sounds like a thinly-veiled threat to arbitrarily roll it back. Keep in mind you still have a security deposit in place.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:36PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)
It’s ok joe the thousands I spent to clean it up don’t compare. thanks!
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:48PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)
You are really reaching now Ashley. Thousands of dollars? Really? Really, really??
First of all, we need the name and contact info of the plumber that you had come by.
Second of all, let’s see the receipts for the thousands of dollars you say you spent to clean the place up.
None of this came up on the apartment condition statement.
I have advised Nancy that we need to get in there ASAP to address all of the issues you are outlining, no matter if you stay or if you go.
See you soon.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:53PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)
Sweetie I got enough to feed the needy. I don’t need to show you anything. You saw the shit hole yourself. Sorry I took such good care of it. You’ll get your realtor fee. Nancy you’ll find a really respectful tenant who cleans daily. sorry my shower is collapsing. Sorry I have mice. Sorry the mildew is dripping from the wall. I would love people to come see it :)
Ash
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:55PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)
Wow, did you do a 180 or what?
You used that “enough to feed the needy” statement out of context.
Have a great rest of your night and life.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:59PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)
Enjoy being a bald headed realtor for communist China. The end. I will be out August 31st. Please don’t contact me unless needed. Thank you.
Ashley
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:07PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)
You are baiting me into going over the line.
I will contact you whenever I feel like it if it involves this apartment and getting it rented.
China was never really communist. Same goes for the former Soviet Union.
Totalitarianism and Fascism is not communism.
Karl Marx is rolling over in his grave right now.
I never let the Sy Sperling commercials (google it) in the 1990’s ever get to me, nor will I let you try to shame me or my appearance.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:08PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)
Dude come on with that text.
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:14PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)
You’re going back and forth so many times. Give it a rest girl!
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:15PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)
I’m sorry I was a bad tenant and said the apartment was collapsing. I don’t try to negotiate a price on an apartment.
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:??PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: (no subject)
How do you feel hurt? You are the one throwing barbs.
You did not Nancy anything about any these issues now you spring them on her last minute and simultaneously try to renegotiate the rent.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:03PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
Have I been a bad tenant for making a reasonable claim?
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:16PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
Your dad speaks enough English to know what is up. Don’t make excuses for your dad, do you know what he says and does not speak in broken English. Your dad was from my totalitarian/fastest nation, you should know that if you went to college. Don’t even go there. Yes he has nothing in common with your dad other than they are Homo sapiens.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:17PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
Bro did u go to college even?
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:21PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
You are really reaching now and I advise on many levels that you stop.
You are not being evicted, your lease is not being renewed. That’s the end of it. I will certainly bring any of these emails to housing court if summoned as well as the apartment condition statement.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:22PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
I was just writing an apology but ooooooo Joe u make me so nervous ;)
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:24PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
Stick to that story.
Stick to the facts.
Excellent.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:28PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
I thought you were a kind man. Sorry I got upset at you . Wasn’t trying to ruin ur man ego. let’s just stop. I know my friend sent a barbaric email cause I can’t even find it on my phone. This is all so messed up. I’ll get out cause also I’m a slob who doesn’t pay. I can’t stand the herion addict I call the police on once a week underneath me. Maybe this was all for the best.
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:??PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy, Sara
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
I can hear the violins now.
I have no “man ego”, I am too well-adjusted for that kind of thing. You probably don’t understand because you falsely assume all men are alike.
Where is the “barbaric email” that your friend sent and who is it addressed to?
You call the police once a week and we don’t even know about it?????????? Nor the management company?????????????
I am 100% certain that my education served me well, I went to a wicked good university too. And was smart enough to break away from the yoke they created.
No one is saying that you are/were a bad tenant,
You are trying to simultaneously negotiate your rent down and lay a laundry list of issues on Nancy’s lap.
My team member will be taking over for me regarding you and this issue. Fortunately, I will be dealing with the rental part of it. I copied her on this email.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 10:??PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
Joe,
I found the email. I know who sent it. Someone trying to ruin me. There is no cancerous bacteria in my tub!!! Magnesium?! I understand why this all got into a fight. I’m sorry for disrespecting both of you with my words. I truly am sorry for taking it this far.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 11:01PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy, Sara
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
I will be out August 31st. I apologize for being rude and immature. I’m very hurt someone took my phone and said cancer is in my bathtub. I’m sorry my hormones took over my mouth. We will be in contact for financial reasons only.
Ash
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 11:03PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy, Sara
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
Took your phone? Cancer in the bathtub? You lost me on that one.
I guess it is just that I am so decrepit, old, and bald, I certainly would not be able to use hormones as an excuse.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 11:19PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy, Sara
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
I’m done with this conversation. Thanks for the new realtor.
Ashley
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 11:25PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy, Sara
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
New realtor? Go to sleep please.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 11:30PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy, Sara
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
I was wondering who Sara was and why this was forwarded.
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 11:32PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy, Sara
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
Cool, she had suggested that she take over and I took her up on it temporarily.
From: Ashley
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 11:32PM
To: Joe
Cc: Nancy, Sara
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
You need to be more specific joe.
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 9:12PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy, Sara
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Voice Mail
Hi Ashley,
My team member, Sara, volunteered to take over my spot in this little spat we are having.
I acquiesced but then changed my mind.
A few days later Joe followed up with this last email.
From: Joe
Date: Wednesday, July 8, 2015 6:13PM
To: Ashley
Cc: Nancy
Subject: Dog Day Afternoon
Hi Ash,
I heard that you have a dog up there from time to time. There are no pets allowed, not even temporarily. It is safe to say that Nancy and I are on the same page and we are the antithesis of dog people. Nothing personal but there’s no pet policy, that includes when your dad visits.
Also, I would appreciate you keeping your dad chilled out or I will have to, by any and all means necessary.
I will be monitoring the pet situation and if I find there is a dog (or even a pet amoeba) for more than half of a millisecond I will have to call animal control. I’m not sensitive to their feelings, only human feelings.
No pets means no pets. There are no special rights or Bill of Rights for animals and we have an agreement that you would not have them up there. End of story. (Nancy saw the water bowl and food.) if you sit the dog while your dad is away then I would seriously consider a local pet hotel, I just rented a 10,000 square-foot facility for such a use and would be happy to refer you to them.
Please be very careful about the language you use when you write back the obligatory responses you have been delivering to me. I will be sending any and all correspondence to my in-house lawyer. Not any type of threat at all, but you are a handful.
See you at 7 PM tonight. Everything will be calm and lovely but I have to follow up on the claims you made a few days ago.